Unpredictable. Unfocused. Just like life.

Frustrated Tim Horton's employees have created a Facebook group to give customers the rules for ordering:

"This is for everyone who gets fed up with people who don't know what they want, and for workers who have to put up with this every day. If people would just listen to these rules when ordering, the world will be a better place," writes Janice Morgan, who identifies herself as the administrator of one group called Tim Hortons Rules of Ordering and More that has some 3,400 members.

The 80 or so rules spell out how to make your visit to Tim's more efficient. "When you want a coffee with no sugar, do not say 'no sugar.' It sounds like you're saying 'one sugar.' "

"If you don't say you want anything in your coffee don't expect to get anything in it, we can't read your mind" and "Stop telling us to 'stir it well' there is no button on the cash register for that."

No button on the cash register for that?

It used to be that service companies like Tim Horton's provided customer service. If they are looking for exact science from customers ordering coffee they are in the wrong business. And these employees aren't exactly pleasant either, given rules like this one:

- ordering drinks so that you need more then one tray. Get off you butt and come in the store! If you are truly that lazy maybe you should make your own coffee at home.

Maybe they should make their own coffee at home and save the employees the trouble.Oh wait, isn't that why they have jobs?

Why is it that Starbucks understands this so clearly that my every experience there is excellent, even without 80 rules?